Sensitivity: PG-13

Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate?

Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate? Mine reads: “relish sausage spread buns.”
It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the

It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the sexual problems in my marriage and suggest to my wife that maybe we should have an open relationship and have sex with other people. Her response of “THANK YOU, GOD!!!!” sure didn’t help.
My boyfriend thought it’d be hot if I went out in public without

My boyfriend thought it’d be hot if I went out in public without wearing a bra. From all of the stares I got, I’m thinking maybe I should have at least worn a shirt.
Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a

Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a $50 gift card toward a vajazzling ensemble does not a good anniversary present make.
Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big

Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big point of telling me she likes really rough sex, then she gets all pissed off about my sandpaper condom invention.
(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik

(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik Wood” has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction? Live and learn.
I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me

I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me that he “couldn’t wait to spend time looking at the top of my head”, I thought he was just really tall.
All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of

All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of stuff in bed that she’s never been interested in before. Woohoo! I’ve been waiting forever for– hey, what the hell?!?
A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that*

A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that* takes jewelry.
Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot

Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot yacht or a big dick for me to be interested. I would also notice him if he has a really hot girlfriend.