I like to do it doggy-style. That’s where I growl at my husband, then lift my leg and pee on him.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the
My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the penis-in-the-mouth part that so great, though — it’s the part where she doesn’t get mad at me for pretending that I’m Captain Kirk and she’s Mr. Spock.
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My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey
My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey Mouse bobblehead. I maintain that with all that alcohol in my system, it looked exactly like a butt plug.
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My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama
My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama Sutra, and had no problems with The Butterfly, The Bridge, The Plow, The Rowing Boat and The Suspended Scissors. However, we’ve been stuck for more than a week on The Chinese Sex Trap.
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My boyfriend and I play this little game where I sext him “Guess
My boyfriend and I play this little game where I sext him “Guess where my finger is now” and he guesses. It’s weird, though, how he never guesses “in the cat’s ass.”
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I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for
I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for a spa day yesterday. Turns out he’d seen their advertisement promising extreme facials.
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I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just
I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just saying her neighbor should know that helicopters can’t land on the roof because there’s no room up there.
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I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only because he’s probably heard it his entire life and I don’t want him to feel bad.
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There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a
There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a Daisy Chain.
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My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t
My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t like to watch me eat Froot Loops and play video games, because that would pretty much cover my entire day.
