Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and
I learned two things that weekend: 1) Despite the assurances and insistence of my scout master, the product is not named “KY-In-Tents”; 2) The experience is nothing like what they lead you to believe from those commercials.
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When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think
When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think it he was talking about the effect of sleep on morning wood.
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I really enjoy writing my Ruminations while totally naked. But
I really enjoy writing my Ruminations while totally naked. But the manager at Burger King keeps telling me it’s a health code violation.
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Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to the quarter slots. What I ended up with was a two-bit hooker.
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Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line
Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line between “Virginia” and “Vagina” in your search results. And most of the “Virginia” links are really boring.
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They just closed another massage parlor in my neighborhood. I
They just closed another massage parlor in my neighborhood. I guess people just aren’t coming like they used to.
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One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in
One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in the supply room, tearing off each others’ clothes. I guess it was just the sperm of the moment.
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I was going to try to come up with a Rumination about my huge
I was going to try to come up with a Rumination about my huge throbbing cock, but it’s just too damn hard.
