Sensitivity: PG-13

Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik

(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik Wood” has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction? Live and learn.
I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me

I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me that he “couldn’t wait to spend time looking at the top of my head”, I thought he was just really tall.
All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of

All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of stuff in bed that she’s never been interested in before. Woohoo! I’ve been waiting forever for– hey, what the hell?!?
A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that*

A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that* takes jewelry.
Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot

Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot yacht or a big dick for me to be interested. I would also notice him if he has a really hot girlfriend.
You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex,

You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex, considering she’s thoroughly enjoyed my kissing her ass all these years.
I was fine trying a reverse cowgirl for my man, but I still

I was fine trying a reverse cowgirl for my man, but I still think it was overkill when he branded my ass.
I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang

I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang lots of meat euphemisms, like “slipping her the sausage.”
I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull

I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull rider, lasting 8 seconds would win me a lot of rodeo competitions.
They say the biggest sexual organ is really the brain. I still

They say the biggest sexual organ is really the brain. I still kind of like my huge, throbbing meat missile though.