PG 13 Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Why do they call them potholes, man? You can’t blame bud for

Why do they call them potholes, man? You can’t blame bud for that shit. *massive bong rip*

They call it a smoothie but it’s got chunks in it. This is bullshit!

I thought my goldfish would thank me for the pizza crusts but they just got all wobbly like they didn’t give a fuck.

When I take a shit on a Tuesday I call it doing a Number Tue. Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all weak.

It’s daylight savings time! Don’t forget to not shut the fuck up about how the time change has really “thrown you off” for the next 2 weeks!

I understand. You’re making a bullshit argument because over there in bullshit land, the bullshit trees only produce bullshit fruit.

TSA should create a position where the only responsibility is telling college kids who sleep on the floor by a gate that they’re fucking slobs.

I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I could only get it halfway up my ass before I gave up.

“Thanks for coming!” *escorts houseguests out *closes door *returns to living room *releases 45 second fart

Hi kids. In case you’re wondering what it’s like to be an adult, my mom called and yelled at me for typing “fuck” on the Internet. I’m 38.