Sensitivity: Questionable

Questionable humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Quintiple My IQ

    There are three guys enjoying a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting them each one wish. Now one of the guys just doesn’t believe it and says, “O.K., if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The mermaid says, “Done!”

    Suddenly the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, “Triple my I.Q.”

    And the mermaid replies, “Done!”

    The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping scientists in various fields. The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends that he says to the mermaid, “Quintiple my I.Q.”

    The mermaid looks at him and says, “You know, I normally don’t try to change other people’s minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you would reconsider.”

    The guy replies, “No, I want to increase my I.Q. times five and if you don’t do it, I won’t set you free.”

    “Please,” says the mermaid, “You don’t know what you’re asking…it’ll change your entire view of the universe…won’t you ask for something else..a million dollars, anything?”

    But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times its usual power.

    So the mermaid sighed and said, “Done!”

    And with that, he became a woman!

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Dumb Men Jokes

    Dumb Men Jokes

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    1. What is the thinnest book in the world?
    What Men Know About Women.

    2. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    One. . . . . men will screw anything.

    3. How does a man take a bubble bath?
    He eats beans for dinner.

    4. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?
    Because they don’t have balls to scratch.

    5. What is a man’s idea of foreplay?
    A half hour of begging.

    6. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
    He’s breathing.

    7. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
    Bonds mature.

    8. What do men and beer bottles have in common?
    They are both empty from the neck up.

    9. How can you tell if a man is happy?
    Who cares?

    10. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    No one knows . . . . . . It’s never been done.

    11. How are men and parking spaces alike?
    The good ones are already taken and the ones left are handicapped.

    12. What is a man’s idea of helping you with housework?
    Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

    13. What is the difference between men and E.T.?
    E.T. called home.

    14. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
    A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

    15. Do you know why there’s a hole in a man’s penis?
    So he can get air to his brain.

    16. How do you save a man from drowning?
    Take your foot off his head.

    17. How is a man like linoleum?
    If you lay him right the first time, you can walk all over him for the next twenty years.

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • The Female Brain Cell

    Once upon a time, there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man’s head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Hello?” she cried… but no answer.

    “Is there anyone here?”

    She cried a little louder, but still no answer….

    Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled: “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?”

    Then she heard a voice from far, far away …

    “Hello – we’re all down here….”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • It Will Be Missed

    I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.

    It will be missed.

  • Cucumbers Good For Memory

    Cucumbers Good For Memory

  • You Already Know How to Play Tennis

    My wife walked in on me watching Internet porn so I quickly switched to a YouTube video on tennis.

    As she left the room she said, “Turn it back to the porn, you already know how to play tennis.”

  • Cunning Runts

    What’s the difference between a bunch of pygmies and the Stanford women’s track team?

    The pygmies are cunning runts.

  • You Forgot Your Wheelchair

    A guy is having some drinks in a bar. He is having a good time so he keeps the beers coming. At some point he realizes it is getting late and the missus might get angry for him being drunk. So he wants to get off his bar stool to go home but falls flat on his face. He climbs back up, orders a coffee to sober up a little and waits 5 minutes before he tries to go home again. But, again he falls down. He must be pretty drunk. But he does not want to get in any more trouble so he crawls home. Silently undresses and slips into bed. The wife does not notice so he is happy he got away with this.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    However, the next morning his wife starts yelling at him and is extremely pissed. “You were drinking again and got very drunk!” He asks why she thinks that.

    “The bartender called — you forgot your wheelchair!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail
  • Santa Claus Hot Girl Mask

    Santa Claus Hot Girl Mask

  • Im Just Chewing Some Gum

    Terribly overweight, Don LaJoie went to the doctor and begged him to be put on a diet. The doctor suggested several, but Lajoie rejected them all, insisting that he had no willpower.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Considering the problem, the doctor said, “There is one thing we can try. It’s an experimental diet in which the jaw is wired shut and nourishment is provided through the rectum. Since the rectal walls can only absorb small amounts of food at a time, you will lose weight quickly.”

    LaJoie agreed to try the diet. Three weeks later, he returned for his checkup and, much to the doctor’s delight, the formerly obese man was now quite slender. He also had a remarkable bounce to his step.

    The physician removed the wire from LaJoie’s jaw and the man sat down. Much to the doctor’s surprise, his patient continued to bounce up and down on the seat.

    “So how do you feel?” the doctor asked.

    “Marvelous! Never better.”

    “Then tell me, why are you bouncing up and down like that?”

    “Oh,” says LaJoie, “I’m just chewing some gum.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail