My girlfriend and I had a really nasty fight, but afterward we had amazing makeup sex: She hooked up with her ex while I hired a prostitute.
Sensitivity: Questionable
Questionable humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Like the famed writer Jorge Luis Borges, I imagine paradise as a kind of library.
Like the famed writer Jorge Luis Borges, I imagine paradise as a kind of library. Specifically, a kind of library where you get to drink beer and have lots of sex.
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Nothing kills a good orgasm like that condescending “Shhhh!”
Nothing kills a good orgasm like that condescending “Shhhh!” from the librarian.
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My wife seemed excited about the trove of sex toys I gave her for Christmas.
My wife seemed excited about the trove of sex toys I gave her for Christmas. She’ll be even more ecstatic when she learns I got them used for a pittance on eBay!
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I cried because I had no foreskin, until I met a man who had no penis.
I cried because I had no foreskin, until I met a man who had no penis. On second thought, maybe that was a lady.
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Talk about dedication to one’s craft: The Mayor of Toronto is a foul-mouthed, drunken
Talk about dedication to one’s craft: The Mayor of Toronto is a foul-mouthed, drunken crack smoker accused of sexual harassment — yet Justin Bieber STILL manages to be the most hated Canadian ever.
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The hardest thing about the holidays is having to listen while Santa has sex with my wife.
The hardest thing about the holidays is having to listen while Santa has sex with my wife. Sure, you might think it’s just some guy in a Santa suit, but I know it’s really Santa because he always gives me a bottle of vodka with a bow on it after he’s done.
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I figured nothing says “Thank you” like a few nude photos.
I figured nothing says “Thank you” like a few nude photos. Apparently, though, the priest who married us would have preferred a simple card.
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Three Legs. To Me, That’s an Exotic Dancer
Three legs. To me, that’s an exotic dancer.
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Which Woman in the Bible Are You?
I took the “Which woman in the Bible are you?” quiz. My result: “Some whore.”
