I’ve decided to dedicate my life to helping prostitutes get off the streets…
…for an hour or so each.
Sensitivity: Questionable
Questionable humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Three Daughters, Three Cryptic Ads, One Happy Mother
A mother had three daughters and, on their wedding day, she told each one of them to write back about their married life.
The first one gets married and the second day the letter arrives with a single message, simply:
“MAXWELL COFFEE HOUSE”
Mother was very confused and finally noticed a Maxwell Advert, and it said:
“Satisfaction to the last drop…” So, Mother was happy.Then the second daughter got married. After a week, there was a message that read:
“ROTHMANS”
So, the Mother looked at a Rothmans ad, and it said:
“LIFE SIZE, KING SIZE” And Mother was happy.Then it the third one got married. Mother was anxious. After four weeks came the message:
“BRITISH AIRWAYS”
So mother looked at the BA ad, but this time she fainted. The ad read:
“TWO TIMES A DAY, FOUR TIMES A WEEK, BOTH WAYS.” -
Bucknekkid Dart Tag Reconsidered
While I love weapons, nudity and sports, perhaps I should have spent a little more time thinking through the reality of Bucknekkid Dart Tag.
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Two Gay Men Have A Happy Baby
Two gay gentlemen decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.
Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the gays’ delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
Brad exclaims. “All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.”
The nurse says, “He’s happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.”
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That Big Ape Hasn’t Called
Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the huge male gorilla had a massive erection. This fascinated the gay men so much they couldn’t take their eyes off of it.
One of the men just couldn’t bear it any longer and he reached into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the cage and screwed him for six hours non-stop. When he was done, the gorilla threw the gay man back out of the cage.
An ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital. The next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asked, “Are you hurt?”
“AM I HURT?” he shouted, “Wouldn’t you be? That big ape hasn’t called, he hasn’t written…”
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Drive-Thru Speaker
I told one of my HMO patients to go get a tonsillectomy, and now he’s mad because he thought I said “appendectomy” and got his appendix removed instead. I guess I should really look into getting my drive-thru speaker fixed.
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My Real Life
I would be completely happy to just live in my dreams, if it weren’t for my girlfriend repeatedly changing into Hitler. No, wait a minute — that’s my real life.
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Four Types of Orgasms Explained Hilariously
John: you know there are four types of orgasms?
Jim: no what are they?
John: There’s the POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, RELIGIOUS and FAKE.
The positive goes oh yes! oh yes!.
The negative goes oh no! oh no!
The religious goes oh God! oh God!
And the fake one goes OH JIM! OH JIM!.
