Sensitivity: Uncensored

Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Out with Grandmother

    A little girl was out with her grandmother when they came across two dogs mating on the sidewalk.

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    “What are they doing?” asked the girl. The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said: “The dog on top hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying it to the doctor.”

    The girl thought for a moment, and then said: “They are just like people, aren’t they?”

    “What do you mean?” asked Grandma.

    “Offer someone a helping hand,” said the girl, “and they will fuck you every time.”

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  • Do women enjoy watching men masturbate

    Do women enjoy watching men masturbate

    DO WOMEN ENJOY WATCHING MEN MASTURBATE

    The ones on the 38 bus don’t.

  • Two Morticians at Lunch

    Two morticians were out having lunch.

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    The first one said, “I had this one girl yesterday whose clitoris was just like a pickle!”

    “Really!? That big?” said the second.

    “No! That salty!”

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  • Calling In Sick

    A guy calls in sick to work. His boss doesn’t believe him and calls him back.

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    The boss says, “You don’t sound sick.”

    The guy answers, “I’m in bed fucking my sister, is that sick enough for you?”

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  • Tied to the Railroad Tracks

    A guy was walking to a bar, and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex.

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    He gets to the bar. Friends ask why he’s so late. He tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.

    Friends give him props and ask if he got head. The guy replies, “I couldn’t find it.”

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  • I was blessed with a 9-inch penis

    I was blessed with a 9-inch penis.

    That priest is in jail now.

  • My favorite sex position is the JFK

    My favorite sex position is the JFK

    MY FAVORITE SEX POSITION IS THE JFK

    I SPLATTER ALL OVER HER WHILE SHE SCREAMS AND TRYS TO GET OUT OF THE CAR

  • Look, either we fuckn

    Look, either we fuckn

    LOOK, EITHER WE FUCKN

    OR I’M FUCKN

  • What’s the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

    What’s the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

    Not being retarded in the first place.

  • Walking Her to the Front Door

    A guy walks his girlfriend to her front door after a date. He leans lazily against the house.

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    “So?” he says.

    “So?” she replies.

    “So, how about a blowjob?”

    “Are you crazy? My parents might see us!”

    “Come on, who’s going to see us at this hour? I’ll return the favour.”

    “Can you imagine if we got caught? Oh my god, what my father would do to you.”

    “There’s no one around. They’re all asleep.”

    “No way, it’s far too risky.”

    “But I love you so much.”

    A light comes on and the front door opens. The girl’s sister appears in her night clothes. She says, “Dad says to go ahead and give him a blowjob. Or I can do it. Or if needs be, he’ll do it himself. But for god’s sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom.”

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