Whenever I hear of a person missing from my neighborhood, I start digging holes in my yard. Nothing freaks out the cops more than fresh dig marks.
Meh Thoughts
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They Both Come in Olive Oil
What does Popeye and a can of sardines have in common?
They both come in olive oil.
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Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I’d truly
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I’d truly like to be. ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, Jilly G. would be deep-throating me.
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“TEIAM” — problem solved!
“TEIAM” — problem solved!
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World Kindness Day and International Day for Tolerance
November 13th is World Kindness Day. November 16th is International Day for Tolerance. Trust me, you do NOT want to confuse them.
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I Told My Wife I Wanted to Be Cremated
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
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I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a
I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a fight, I can piss them off by saying, “We’re not currently seeing tit-to-eye.”
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Rearrange the Letters of POSTMEN
If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN…
They become VERY ANGRY.
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Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that
Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that I’m with another woman. Then again, so does she.
