Absurd jokes, weird logic, surreal memes, and nonsense that somehow files taxes from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
☀MissMorningstar☀ @KeeperOfDankniz
The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.
10:27 PM · 10 Oct 19 · Twitter for Android
15. They promise that 100% of their graduates will be ‘sertified sheffs.’
14. ‘Today’s pastry is called Bronuts, and you will need some assistance from a male student.’
13. There’s a Department of Drive-Thru Studies.
12. Every session ends the same: ‘Defrost and microwave to taste.’
11. Week 1: Heimlich maneuver.
10. There’s an angry British man swearing a lot, but mostly about immigrants.
9. ‘Welcome to: Sculpting with Spam: The Forgotten Dessert Meat.’
8. All the donuts in the cafeteria have corners.
7. ‘Note how my blood matches the color of the tomato, so there’s no need to clean it up.’
6. The chef blindfolds you and tells you to kneel before tasting the sausage.
5. You could have sworn the teacher said this was his ‘private masterbasting class.’
4. Your instructor suggests the best way to improve the tastiness of food is to smoke a joint ahead of time.
3. Exotic Sauces 101 no longer draws much interest due to the whole ‘sautéing with snot’ thing.
2. ‘I’d like to introduce our special lecturer on knife skills, professional mohel Rabbi Cohen.’
And the number one sign you’ve chosen a bad culinary school…
1. The box their Kobe beef came in has an NBA logo.
umm wtf?? You can get your butthole turned into chocolates 😂
‘Edible Anus’ Company Makes Chocolate Molds of Your (Or a Loved One’s) Butthole
karen @vibeaholic
why is there a coyote on the bus?
Jonathan @LowkeyNerdy
probably because they can’t fucking drive karen
My girlfriend’s dog died
I get her an identical one to help cheer her up
Her: What TF am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs?
i masturbate loud as hell and if you don’t like that then go to a different olive garden
“DOG FOOD LID” BACKWARDS IS “DILDO OF GOD”.
SKELETOR WILL RETURN NEXT WEEK WITH MORE DISTURBING FACTS
Love, do you want kids?
Absolutely Not
Me Neither
Children, we need to talk
hawk @hawktherapper
if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points
