Tone: cheeky

Cheeky humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Big Potatoes and Dirty Secrets!

    Two Irish women were out in the field digging up potatoes.
    One of them pulls out a huge one and says, “Ah, it’s just like my husband’s penis.”
    The other gasps, “Oh? that big?”
    The first shakes her head and says, “No. That dirty.”

  • Nuns on Wheels: Cobblestone Confessions!

    Two nuns were riding their bikes to church.
    One of them says “I’ve never come this way before”.
    The other replied “it’s the cobblestones.”

  • Party at the neighbor’s place

    A guy moves to the middle of nowhere in Alaska — no towns, no roads, just snow and existential dread.

    About a week later, there’s a knock at the door. He opens it to find a man standing there like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

    “Hey,” the man says. “I’m your neighbor — I live about fifteen miles away. I’m throwing a party tonight and wanted to invite you.”

    The new guy brightens up. “A party? Out here?”

    “Yep,” says the neighbor. “There’ll be drinking and fighting…”

    “Wow,” the new guy says. “Sounds fun.”

    “…and then sex, there will be loads of sex.” the neighbor adds.

    The new guy freezes. “Uh — okay. How many people are coming?”

    The neighbor smiles. “It’ll just be you and me.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Somebody’s gonna get some tonight!

    A woman had a male parrot for a pet, but he always embarrassed her whenever she brought a man home. As soon as she walked in with someone, the parrot would squawk, “Somebody’s gonna get some tonight! Somebody’s gonna get some tonight!”

    Finally, in desperation, the woman went to her local pet shop and asked the owner for advice.

    “You need a female parrot to keep him company,” said the proprietor. “I can order one for you. In the meantime, you can borrow this female owl until she arrives.”

    The woman took the owl home and placed it near her parrot. The parrot just stared at the owl in silence.

    That night, she brought a gentleman friend back to her apartment. As soon as they walked in, the parrot screeched, “Somebody’s gonna get some tonight! Somebody’s gonna get some tonight!”

    The owl blinked and asked, “Who? Who?”

    And the parrot shouted, “Not you, you big-eyed bitch!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Three men find a harem

    Three guys were traveling through Saudi Arabia when they accidentally stumbled into a harem tent filled with over a hundred beautiful women.

    They started getting friendly with the women when suddenly the Sheik burst in and shouted, “I am the master of all these women! No one else may touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you’ve done. Your punishment will correspond to your profession.”

    He turned to the first man and asked, “What do you do for a living?”

    “I’m a cop,” the first man said.

    “Then we will shoot your penis off!” declared the Sheik.

    Next, he turned to the second man. “And you?”

    “I’m a fireman.”

    “Then we will burn your penis off!”

    Finally, the Sheik turned to the third man. “And what do you do for a living?”

    The third man grinned and said, “I’m a lollipop salesman.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • My wife has been having an affair with the mailman.

    A couple of guys are at a bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”

    “What?” says his buddy. “That fat ugly slob I see every morning outside your house?”

    “That’s right,” says the first guy.

    “Jesus,” says his buddy. “Why would Bob the mailman want to fuck that?”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Water Woes: A Card for Kindness

    My neighbor told me he couldn’t pay his water bill.
    I sent him a “Get well soon” card.

  • Seven Sins and a Sour Confession

    A gorgeous blonde goes into confession. “My boyfriend made love to me seven times last night”, she told the priest.
    “Drink the juice of seven lemons”, said the priest.
    “Will that absolve me of my sins?” she asked.
    “No, but it’ll wipe that smile off your face.”

  • Flapaccino: The Female Teabag Twist

    What do you call the female version of teabagging?

    A flapaccino

  • Banana Affair: The Peeling Verdict!

    Did you hear about the man who was found guilty of having sex with a banana?

    He got off on a peel.