ewilliams1: They searched him so thoroughly, they found a gold watch.
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Keep People in the Dark
My friends keep asking me how I’m able to save so much on my electric bill,
but I’ll never tell because I like to keep people in the dark.
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Turn Over
So a girl is going to marry a Greek fellow. The night before the wedding, the girl’s dad takes her aside and says, “Honey, I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just say it. If he ever asks you to turn over, you don’t have to.”
So they get married. Sure enough, about six months later, the Greek guy asks the girl to turn over.
“You know,” she says, “my dad told me I don’t have to turn over if I don’t want to.”
“Whatsa matter?” says the Greek guy. “Don’t you wanna have kids?”
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Grey and Comes in Pints
What’s grey and comes in pints?
An elephant.
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Ladder Safety Sign
I’m not sure what this sign is a safety precaution for, but I think using your feet on a ladder is a better option…
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Catholic Converter
Built Xterra/Frontier. 1 hour ago
Can a bad Alternator cause the Catholic converter to go bad?
Reply: I will literally pay for your vasectomy
