Tone: crude

Crude humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Superman’s Superspeed Rooftop Encounter

    Superman is flying over Metropolis on a hot summer day, coming home from a mission.

    Suddenly in the distance he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing on a rooftop, completely nude. Superman thinks: “Man, she is so hot. I can fly down, fuck her with superspeed, and be back home with Lois in a few seconds without anyone noticing.”

    So he speeds down there, does as planned and Wonder Woman only feels a rapid gush of wind and the building shaking.

    “What on earth was that”, she stumbles.

    The Invisible Man replies: “Fuck, I have no idea, but my ass suddenly hurts like hell!”

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  • Beating Around the Bush at the Brothel

    A man goes to a brothel where they line up 10 naked women for him to choose from at the cost of $1000. Nine are very unattractive to the man, but off to the side he sees the most beautiful young woman who also has the hairiest vagina he has ever seen, but was holding up a $500 sign that said no oral or penetration.

    “What’s the deal with her?” the man asked, still intrigued.

    “With her you can only beat around the bush.”

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  • A Corvette and a Dead Hooker

    What’s the difference between a Corvette and a dead hooker?

    I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

  • Dead Baby in a Clown Suit

    What’s funnier than a dead baby?

    A dead baby in a clown suit.

  • The Difference Between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson

    What was the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

    Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucked kids.

  • Locking Your Keys in Your Car at an Abortion Clinic

    What’s more embarrassing than locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

  • Sick Duck

    Sick Duck

    What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One’s a sick duck and I can’t remember how it ends, but your mother’s a whore.

  • Jesus Says Your Mom’s a Whore

    Jesus Says Your Mom’s a Whore

    Jesus says your mom’s a whore!

  • Your Mom and This Chicken

    Your Mom and This Chicken

    What’s the difference between your mom and this chicken? Your mom is a whore.

  • Spreading Butter

    Getting a woman to spread her legs is a lot like spreading butter on bread…

    You can do it with a credit card, but it’s easier with a knife.