What is your opinion on abortion?
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On the one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Tone: dark
Dark jokes, grim memes, and humor with the lights off and the judgment missing from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Rabbi’s Advice
A guy goes to his rabbi to ask his advice.
“Rabbi, I have a court case next week. What should I wear? Should I wear shabby clothes and hope the judge has pity on me, or should I wear my best suit, give some money to the judge and say, ‘You look after me and I’ll look after you’?”
“Well, my son. You remember how my daughter got married only last week? So, the night before, she came to me with a question: ‘What should I wear that night? The short, see-through negligee my sister gave me, or the long thick nightie mother gave me?’”
“And the answer I gave her is the answer I give you: It doesn’t matter what you wear — you’re going to get fucked.”
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Deaf Kid Orgy
Me and the boys: *putting up random hand gang signs in class*
The deaf kid wondering why we’re planning an orgy with the class pet:
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Prostate Exam
Dr: you need to stop masturbating
Me: for how long?
Dr: at least until I finish your prostate exam
Me: fair enough
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Pooh Pulled Pork Sandwich
As much as Pooh missed Piglet, he really did enjoy that pulled pork sandwich.
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The Bloody Canoe
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are exploring the deepest part of the Amazon jungle. One day, a savage tribe of cannibals captures the trio and they’re brought before the chieftain.
“Trespassing is punishable by death for white devils,” the chieftain says in passable English. “But your skin will make some fine canoes for us. However, you can all have one request fulfilled to the best of our ability to do so!”
The Englishman nods, accepting his fate. “I don’t suppose you have a telephone out here so I can call home?”
“Yes, we have taken many of these things from interlopers,” says the chieftain.
Surprised, he dials his wife. “Hello my dear, I’m afraid I won’t be coming home. Terribly sorry. My love to the kids.”
He closes his eyes, is killed, and they begin taking his skin and meat for meals.
The Scotsman gulps. “I really could do with a drink — whiskey if you have any, so I won’t feel it.”
The chieftain snaps his fingers and a tribesman brings out a crate of whiskey. The Scotsman immediately begins getting drunk, downing bottle after bottle until he falls asleep, and he too is killed. They make preparations to turn him into meals and a canoe with his skin.
The Irishman says, “Umm… do you have a fork?”
Puzzled, the chief commands a tribesman to give him a fork, and before anybody could react, the Irishman begins stabbing himself all over his body.
“You’re not turning me into a bloody canoe, ye bastards!”
