Tone: Innuendo

Innuendo humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • You Coming to the BBQ?

    You Coming to the BBQ?

    Me: you coming to the bbq?

    Her: what bbq?

    Me: the one where I slap my meat across your grill

  • At The Dentist

    “I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,” a woman told her dentist.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
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    He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”

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  • Stop Fucking My Ass

    A priest and a voluptuous young woman were alone at the church.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
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    “Ohhh, Father!” whispered the woman into his ear. “Don’t you just wanna come and fuck my pussy?”

    “Good heavens, my child, no!” cried the horrified priest. “Always remember: God gave you your womanhood solely for you to bear children with a man who’s your husband.”

    “Fine, Father,” said the woman. “Then what about if I give you a blowjob instead?”

    “Lord have mercy, my child!” exclaimed the priest. “Don’t you know that your mouth should always be holy and only be used to pray and worship the Lord?”

    “You’re right, Father,” conceded the young woman. “So maybe I can give you a handjob?”

    “I wouldn’t dream of defiling you like that, child,” admonished the priest. “Your hands were given to you by God so you could accomplish His good works. They should never be used for filthy deeds.”

    Then the woman finally lost her patience:

    “ALRIGHT THEN, FATHER!! Then just stop fucking my ass, ’cause it’s hurting me a lot!”

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  • Little Johnny at the Rodeo

    Little Johnny went to his first rodeo with his mum and dad…

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Dad went off to buy a beer, and little Johnny happened to spy the bull’s cock flopping around beneath his belly.

    “Mummy, mummy! What’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly!?” Johnny asks, pointing.

    Embarrassed, his mum looks away and mutters, “Oh, don’t worry about that, Johnny. That’s nothing.”

    Dad comes back and mum goes off to use the washroom.

    Once mummy is gone, Little Johnny asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing beneath the bull’s belly?”

    “That’s the bull’s cock, son,” his dad answers. “He uses it to mount and make love to a cow.”

    “But mummy said it was nothing!” Johnny replied.

    Dad leans back with his hand behind his head and takes a sip of his beer.

    “Son… I’ve spoiled that woman…”

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  • Little Johnny at the Horse Auction

    Little Johnny attends a horse auction with his father. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest.

    After a few minutes Johnny asks, “Dad, why are you doing that?”

    His father says, “I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy one.”

    Worried, Johnny says, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy mom.”

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  • Your Feet Were Too Far Apart

    A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

    Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her coming to the clubhouse and asked, “Why are you back so early?”

    “I was stung by a bee,” she said.

    “Where?” he asked.

    “Between the first and second hole,” she replied.

    He nodded knowingly and said, “Then your feet were too far apart.”

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  • They Both Come in Olive Oil

    What does Popeye and a can of sardines have in common?

    They both come in olive oil.

  • Home Depot Date Night See A Hole Fill A Hole

    Home Depot Date Night See A Hole Fill A Hole

  • Ball Type Deodorant Under My Arms

    Ball Type Deodorant Under My Arms

  • Phallic Symbol

    Me: “It’s a phallic symbol.”

    Blonde Secretary in the office: “Ooh! I’d hate to tell you what it looks like!”

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