Tone: ironic

Ironic humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I cried because I had no penis, until I met a woman who had no

I cried because I had no penis, until I met a woman who had no vagina. And we lived happily ever after in her Malibu Dream House.
Talk about pulled in two different directions: When her lips

Talk about pulled in two different directions: When her lips finally parted and she took my penis in her mouth, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. But after I forgot to warn her I was about to cum, I thought she’d murder me.
I cried because I didn’t have Jilly G’s tits. Then I met a man

I cried because I didn’t have Jilly G’s tits. Then I met a man who did, and I thought, “At least my hands are free to write a Rumination about Jilly G’s tits.”
Some people are against gay marriage, and I have to say I see

Some people are against gay marriage, and I have to say I see their point. I like most of my gay friends way too much to watch them totally fuck up their lives like that.
It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the

It was difficult enough working up the nerve to address the sexual problems in my marriage and suggest to my wife that maybe we should have an open relationship and have sex with other people. Her response of “THANK YOU, GOD!!!!” sure didn’t help.
Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a

Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a $50 gift card toward a vajazzling ensemble does not a good anniversary present make.
I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me

I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me that he “couldn’t wait to spend time looking at the top of my head”, I thought he was just really tall.
All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of

All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of stuff in bed that she’s never been interested in before. Woohoo! I’ve been waiting forever for– hey, what the hell?!?
You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex,

You’d think my girlfriend would be more open to anal sex, considering she’s thoroughly enjoyed my kissing her ass all these years.
There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right

There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right decision to meet with your doctor about your sex addiction than your masturbating to the breast-self-exam pamphlet in the waiting room.