Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
Tone: ironic
Ironic humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that
Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that I’m with another woman. Then again, so does she.
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Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused
Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused when I emerged from the bathroom naked, purring that I wanted
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(Brad Wilkerson) I thought my leaf blower costume was a great
(Brad Wilkerson) I thought my leaf blower costume was a great idea until every guy in the neighborhood dressed up as a leaf.
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Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had
Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had lots in common, but what really sealed the deal was her “Deliveries in the Rear” tramp stamp.
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Sometimes I sit and think about all the great jack-in-the-box
Sometimes I sit and think about all the great jack-in-the-box references I could make if my name were Jack and I were a gynecologist.
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I thought about getting a snippet of a language I don’t speak
I thought about getting a snippet of a language I don’t speak tattooed on me. How’s this “camel cock” from ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics?
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*RING* “Hello?” “What’s up?” “Aw, man, I was right in the middle
*RING* “Hello?” “What’s up?” “Aw, man, I was right in the middle of masturbating.” “Then why’d you answer?” “I thought it might be my mom.”
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I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in
I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in the bathroom sink instead of in the breakroom. I guess my superiors feel the lavatory should remain pristine for piss, shit and cum residue.
