After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my long-distance girlfriend’s amazing naked body via webcam today. Now I just pray she doesn’t find the hidden camera.
Tone: ironic
Ironic humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Consumer advice: They cost a little more,
Consumer advice: They cost a little more,
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It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
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I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to
I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to see her get nasty and sweaty with another woman. But hair-pulling on “Jerry Springer” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
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Okay, he got me for not wearing a seat belt. But I KNOW he saw
Okay, he got me for not wearing a seat belt. But I KNOW he saw the stickshift condom, yet he still gave me a ticket for reckless driving, too.
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I exercise the same way I make love: I go all out each and every
I exercise the same way I make love: I go all out each and every time. So I’m surprised that the guys in my gym don’t appreciate it when I
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Life lesson: Never play Naked Quarters if you don’t know what’s
Life lesson: Never play Naked Quarters if you don’t know what’s in the glass your friends refer to as “The Money Shot.”
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Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the
Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the swingers club. I guess there’s some truth to that old saying, “Love is a many-splintered thing.”
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Since the word “sodomy” means oral as well as anal sex, I think
Since the word “sodomy” means oral as well as anal sex, I think it shows a great deal of laziness on the part of lawmakers that they haven’t invented a word to distinguish both sexual acts under the law. At least that’s the best defense strategy I’ve come up with so far.
