Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Little Johnny got lost in the shopping mall…
He approached a uniformed security guard and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”
The guard asked, “What’s his name?”
“Grandpa.”
The guard smiled, then asked, “What’s he like?”
The boy paused for a moment, then replied, “Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits!”
Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it’s right up there!
A hunter from the East goes hunting out West in Wyoming.
He hires a guide and the next day they get up bright and early and begin their adventure. At some point the hunter has to use a commode.
He says to his guide, “Man, I really have to use the restroom. Where is it?”
The guide cracks up laughing. “Are you serious? We’re in the middle of Wyoming and you’re asking where the restroom is?”
“Well it’s kinda an emergency,” the hunter says.
The guide says, “You just hang your ass over that log over there. We’re roughing it today, Sport!”
So the hunter does his business but realizes there is no toilet paper, so he asks his guide, “What do I use to clean up with?”
The guide says, “You got a dollar?”
The hunter says, “I do.”
The guide says, “Just use that!”
The hunter comes back with poop all over himself. He was a disgusting mess.
The guide says, “What the hell, man. What happened to you?”
The hunter says, “You try cleaning yourself up with three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel!”
