Why is the Bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Worst Thing About Being an Atheist
What’s the worst thing about being an atheist?
You have nobody to talk to when you’re having an orgasm.
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Something Soft and Mushy
So anyway this hillbilly took his girl up to lovers peak. They sat down on a log. After a bit Judi says to Jon, “Aren’t the stars purty tonite?”
Jon says “Sure is Judi”.
Judi says “Jon, aren’t the moon purty tonite”.
Jon says “Sure is Judi”.
After a bit Judi says, “Jon, whisper something soft and mushy in my ear”.
So Jon leans over and whispers “Shit”.
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He Makes His Own Lunch
An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Burritos again. If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”
The redneck opened his lunch and said, “Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I’m jumping too.”
Next day — the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.
The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too.
The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral — The Irishman’s wife is weeping. She says, “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again.”
The Mexican’s wife also weeps and says, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas. I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the redneck’s wife. “Hey, don’t look at me,” she said, “He makes his own lunch.”
