Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I

I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I suppose I need to find someone to do that for me.
I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the

I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the clerk at Lowe’s “I need caulk.”
My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him

My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him when we’re having sex. Problem is, I don’t talk with my mouth full.
I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a

I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a sash, I think I’d wear some crotchless panties and sparkly pasties. Now who do I bribe to get the title?
(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with

(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with a little pickle in ’em!
I’d love it if some strippers banded together for a “Tits For a

I’d love it if some strippers banded together for a “Tits For a Cure” fundraiser/awareness project for some kind of disease or cause or something. I could sure get on board with that.
Hey, if my boyfriend’s penis could spurt chocolate, I’d never

Hey, if my boyfriend’s penis could spurt chocolate, I’d never take the damn thing OUT of my mouth.
I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to

I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to see her get nasty and sweaty with another woman. But hair-pulling on “Jerry Springer” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
There I was, twisted up in an erotic sexual pose, while at the

There I was, twisted up in an erotic sexual pose, while at the same time lamenting the deeds of my past and wondering what punishment I might have to suffer in the future. Alas, such is the paradox of my religion, the Karma Sutra.
I keep asking my personal waxer if he’d ever consider going out

I keep asking my personal waxer if he’d ever consider going out with me, but he just keeps giving me lip service.