I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to have such a cute, funny girlfriend.” Have they not noticed the tits?!
Tone: Sarcastic
Sarcastic jokes, dry insults, eye-roll energy, and punchlines that need a workplace warning from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to
A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to find as many pictures of genitalia in the illustrations as you can.
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I got even with my ex-wife for dumping me for a guy with a
I got even with my ex-wife for dumping me for a guy with a bigger penis; I dumped HER for a woman with a MASSIVE vagina!
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I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller.
I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller. It seems like the logical next step since so many guys masturbate in their cars.
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I apologize if my uber-hotness has caused problems for any local
I apologize if my uber-hotness has caused problems for any local businesses. I guess the guys just really like my “first served, first cum” motto.
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Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does
Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does something to ruin it? You know, like speaking.
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Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a
Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a $50 gift card toward a vajazzling ensemble does not a good anniversary present make.
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Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big
Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big point of telling me she likes really rough sex, then she gets all pissed off about my sandpaper condom invention.
