Tone: Sarcastic

Sarcastic jokes, dry insults, eye-roll energy, and punchlines that need a workplace warning from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

(Tim H. Richweis) The biggest difference between my clitoris and

(Tim H. Richweis) The biggest difference between my clitoris and Osama bin Laden is that a guy actually found Osama bin Laden.
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I

I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I should probably be able to tell the difference between fucking and acupuncture.
The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge

The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge on a woman who turns you down by telling her you were only hitting on her for a shot at blowing her nearby friend.
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only

I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only because he’s probably heard it his entire life and I don’t want him to feel bad.
No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out

No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out my tits during the meal. I clearly heard him say he wanted milk with his coffee.
My stupid boyfriend will do anything I dare him to, including

My stupid boyfriend will do anything I dare him to, including taking off his bathing suit at the public pool and showing everyone his junk. It was pretty damned funny until the cops showed up, at which point I totally denied he was my boyfriend. Hey, I don’t want to be with anyone stupid enough to do that kind of shit just because I dare him.
(b0nrmunky) When I got exhausted keeping up with my girlfriend’s

(b0nrmunky) When I got exhausted keeping up with my girlfriend’s desire for sex, she suggested bringing other guys into the bedroom to help, and I agreed. The problem is that she goes through so many of them, I get exhausted just watching.
FUN FACT: Guys named Kevin who owe me twenty bucks can’t achieve

FUN FACT: Guys named Kevin who owe me twenty bucks can’t achieve erections unless the girl farts in their stupid fugly face. RIGHT, KEVIN?
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High

If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had

Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had lots in common, but what really sealed the deal was her “Deliveries in the Rear” tramp stamp.