Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A cop was patrolling at night in a well known area for “parking.” He saw a couple in a car, with the interior light on. He got closer to the car and saw a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine and a young woman on the rear seat, knitting.
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A nice looking redhead walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, “Did you call for me?” The man replies, “No, what do you mean?” She says, “You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.” Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Little Johnny wanted a $200 bike, but his dad shut him down fast:
“Son, we have an $80,000 mortgage and I just got fired. No bike. Period.”
Two days later, Johnny is at the front door with a suitcase, looking like he’s moving to Mexico.
His dad asks, “Where the heck are you going?”
Johnny looks him dead in the eye and says:
“Look, I walked past your bedroom this morning. I heard you tell Mom you were ‘pulling out,’ and Mom said she was ‘coming too.’ Well, I’m not an idiot! I’m leaving now because I’ll be damned if I’m the only one left here to pay off that $80,000 mortgage!”
England had made the FIFA World Cup final, but poor Nigel was absolutely gutted. Due to a spate of bad financial luck, he had to cancel his plans to travel across the pond and cheer on his countrymen in person.
