I was relieved when my co-worker told me my fly was open so I could quickly zip up. I only wish she had warned me about my protruding, twitching member beforehand, too.
Tone: suggestive
Suggestive humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I
I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I suppose I need to find someone to do that for me.
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Yelling through the bathroom stall partition, I asked my regular
Yelling through the bathroom stall partition, I asked my regular glory hole chick if she would be interested in taking things to the next level, but she just gave me lip service.
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Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always
Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always pronounce her name “Jiggle,” because I’m thinking she probably does.
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The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot
The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot more fun when I took this position testing 12-inch, 7-levelsof-intensity, hydraulic vibrators.
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I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento
I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento.”
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I greeted my husband at the door wearing nothing but Saran Wrap.
I greeted my husband at the door wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. But the other bitchy
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Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new
Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new iPhone. He loves it, but my husband complains that it’s not easy holding the phone during sex.
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Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise
Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise to publish the following hint: “Tired of sleeping on the wet spot? Keep a hair dryer plugged in next to the bed. One minute on high is all it takes to dry that spot up so you can sleep easy.”
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My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually
My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually followed by passionate lovemaking. Nevertheless, I awakened abruptly only an hour later, with an unsatisfied hunger. Was it the twice cooked pork, or the twice porked cook that I was craving?
