Tone: suggestive

Suggestive humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Chick Peas On Me

Wow! I hope this Chick Peas On me
Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance,

Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance, “Kalashnikov” is surely some kind of sexual perversion. And if “autofellatio” isn’t the name of a weapon, it oughta be.
I was relieved when my co-worker told me my fly was open so I

I was relieved when my co-worker told me my fly was open so I could quickly zip up. I only wish she had warned me about my protruding, twitching member beforehand, too.
I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I

I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I suppose I need to find someone to do that for me.
Yelling through the bathroom stall partition, I asked my regular

Yelling through the bathroom stall partition, I asked my regular glory hole chick if she would be interested in taking things to the next level, but she just gave me lip service.
Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always

Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always pronounce her name “Jiggle,” because I’m thinking she probably does.
The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot

The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot more fun when I took this position testing 12-inch, 7-levelsof-intensity, hydraulic vibrators.
I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento

I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento.”
I greeted my husband at the door wearing nothing but Saran Wrap.

I greeted my husband at the door wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. But the other bitchy
Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new

Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new iPhone. He loves it, but my husband complains that it’s not easy holding the phone during sex.