Tone: suggestive

2. A frigid beer is good.

3. A beer doesn’t care when you come home.

4. When a beer goes flat you can toss it.

5. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.

6. A beer never gets a headache.

7. If you pour a beer right, you always get a good head.

8. You can share a beer with a friend.

9. You always know when you’re the first one to pop a beer.

10. A beer is always wet.

11. You can have a beer in public.

12. You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

13. A beer doesn’t get pregnant.

14. A beer doesn’t have parents.

15. You can say whatever you want to a beer.

16. A beer doesn’t care if you are late.

17. And you can always have several different beers and not feel guilty.