Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise to publish the following hint: “Tired of sleeping on the wet spot? Keep a hair dryer plugged in next to the bed. One minute on high is all it takes to dry that spot up so you can sleep easy.”
Tone: suggestive
Suggestive humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually
My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually followed by passionate lovemaking. Nevertheless, I awakened abruptly only an hour later, with an unsatisfied hunger. Was it the twice cooked pork, or the twice porked cook that I was craving?
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I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my
I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my hand too soon, but I think I figured out a cheap and easy way to make wet tissues at home.
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I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls;
I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls; with MY rack, it’s all about Titty Calls.
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end my workout with a money shot
end my workout with a money shot.
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I exercise the same way I make love: I go all out each and every
I exercise the same way I make love: I go all out each and every time. So I’m surprised that the guys in my gym don’t appreciate it when I
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
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The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen
The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen one blue pussy, you’ve seen them all.
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Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They
Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They already have the name and all.
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My cat likes to sit on our laps and lick herself clean. My son
My cat likes to sit on our laps and lick herself clean. My son says she’s telling us, “I feel comfortable with you and trust you.” I think
