I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for a spa day yesterday. Turns out he’d seen their advertisement promising extreme facials.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just
I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just saying her neighbor should know that helicopters can’t land on the roof because there’s no room up there.
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When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley
When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley riding jacket. When she said she liked watersports, I naively showed up with my snorkel. So today when she told me she had some shit to do around the house, I decided to stay away altogether, just in case.
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Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and
Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
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I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only because he’s probably heard it his entire life and I don’t want him to feel bad.
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There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a
There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a Daisy Chain.
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My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t
My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t like to watch me eat Froot Loops and play video games, because that would pretty much cover my entire day.
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I like to tease my boyfriend by telling him I’m about to get
I like to tease my boyfriend by telling him I’m about to get hot, wet and naked. Dork thinks I’m taking a shower when I’m actually attending a giant lesbian orgy.
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Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that
Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that I’m with another woman. Then again, so does she.
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I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one
I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one uses real gluten-free organic flour, Cockasaurus or Diggly Wiggler?
