“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better with girdle sales than it does with penis enhancement products.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
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I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because
I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because she and her husband have an arrangement: I come over every Monday night and have sex with her so he can watch the game.
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I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close,
I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
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The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire
The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire people to fuck me, I can ask to re-interview them over and over.
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I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve
I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve sworn he screamed at me to get off ON his lawn.
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If you’re ever nauseous, you should put your head between your
If you’re ever nauseous, you should put your head between your knees and take deep breaths. Unless it’s your own ball stench that’s making you nauseous in the first place — then you should try something else.
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When the realtor told me the house was haunted, I wasn’t too
When the realtor told me the house was haunted, I wasn’t too worried. Either any residual spirits would be gone within the week, or they’d be into watching a guy whack off to chubby-chick porn six times a day, in which case they’re my kind of ghosts.
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I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns
I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns out I was at “poll” — not “pole” — headquarters.
