Tone: witty

Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Life lesson: Never play Naked Quarters if you don’t know what’s

Life lesson: Never play Naked Quarters if you don’t know what’s in the glass your friends refer to as “The Money Shot.”
Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl

Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl.
the blank in the adage, “Absence makes the _____ grow _____.”

the blank in the adage, “Absence makes the _____ grow _____.” Turned out that my reply “penis” and “harder” was not the correct one.
Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk

Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk.
I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length,

I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length, because she’d never find pants that fit.
I think we’re spoiled with today’s technological advancements.

I think we’re spoiled with today’s technological advancements. In fact, when I’m not videoconferencing or web-chatting, I find myself disappointed at not being able to say, “Stop staring at my tits, you moron.”
At parties, people always ask doctors to look at their rash,

At parties, people always ask doctors to look at their rash, plumbers to look at their clogged drain, or investment bankers for stock tips. I wonder if porn stars have people pestering them at parties to pretend to deliver pizza or make that fuck-face look they all do on the DVD covers. I know I would.
Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the

Boy, did my junk sting after I made it with that chick at the swingers club. I guess there’s some truth to that old saying, “Love is a many-splintered thing.”
Don’t you hate it when you’re masturbating to Christine

Don’t you hate it when you’re masturbating to Christine O’Donnell and just about to cum and Rosie O’Donnell pops into your head?
Since the word “sodomy” means oral as well as anal sex, I think

Since the word “sodomy” means oral as well as anal sex, I think it shows a great deal of laziness on the part of lawmakers that they haven’t invented a word to distinguish both sexual acts under the law. At least that’s the best defense strategy I’ve come up with so far.