I’ll bet it’s hard being an elf. Not only do you spend your entire life making toys, but you also have a little elf dick.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I used to feel confident because so many gay dudes were hot for
I used to feel confident because so many gay dudes were hot for me. Then I realized that gay dudes, like me, will stick their dicks in anything.
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I just learned a new riff on my ukulele, in case you were
I just learned a new riff on my ukulele, in case you were wondering where all this pussy came from.
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Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part was getting them out of my scrotum.
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The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to
The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to cum in less than 60 seconds every damn time.
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My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to
My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to scratch behind my ear with my back leg, because I needed TWO tricks for this last New Year’s Eve party.
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I don’t even like to bargain or haggle, but one of my favorite
I don’t even like to bargain or haggle, but one of my favorite words in the English language is still “dicker.”
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The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates
The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.
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Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the
Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the same thing as at a traffic light. Blue balls seem universal, though.
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When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning
When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning green, I started to panic. Then I realized I’d mistakenly purchased “Shrek” condoms.
