I’m so cool I knew William Shatner when he was still William Shittingner.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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“This here.” “What is some bullshit?” “Can you be more
“This here.” “What is some bullshit?” “Can you be more specific?” “What is some bullshit, right here?” “Correct!” – Ghetto Jeopardy
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My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of
My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of weight to my theories that shrubs are just dog magazines.
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“You CAN Go Fuck Yourself!” – AutoerotiCon 2014 Seminar
“You CAN Go Fuck Yourself!” – AutoerotiCon 2014 Seminar
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The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his
The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his birthday present. It was a no-brainer, though, getting him water skis, since he he’s been telling me for weeks he’s into watersports.
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None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
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Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:
Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.
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Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics
Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics.
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“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a
“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a broken condom.
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Motherfucker, stand back while I BLOW YOUR MIND. – Why I’m not
Motherfucker, stand back while I BLOW YOUR MIND. – Why I’m not allowed to play trains with my niece
