Dear Hollywood: We get it. The name Focker sounds like the word “f%#ker.” It was even funny the first two times in the first movie.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I just sneezed and got little droplets all over my computer monitor, and they act like
I just sneezed and got little droplets all over my computer monitor, and they act like little magnifying lenses so they’re all twinkling different colors. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
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It isn’t a midlife crisis if it kills you instantly.
It isn’t a midlife crisis if it kills you instantly.
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I don’t know the right response for when my wife shows me her new hairdo, but so far
I don’t know the right response for when my wife shows me her new hairdo, but so far I’ve ruled out “What on earth happened?” and “Is it windy out?”
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Mark my words: One day the South will rise again!
Mark my words: One day the South will rise again! Then it’ll take a leak, finish off that can of Mountain Dew and go back to bed.
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Give me liberty or give me a grilled cheese sandwich!
Give me liberty or give me a grilled cheese sandwich! But go ahead and make it with two heels and over-char it a little on one side, so as not to make me look like a complete wuss.
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If I ever start a religion, it’s definitely going to require human sacrifice —
If I ever start a religion, it’s definitely going to require human sacrifice — beginning with the next Jehovah’s Witness that comes to my door.
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Touch my junk?
Touch my junk? If you give me twenty dollars you can haul it away!
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My wife and I want to have a baby.
My wife and I want to have a baby. Well, my wife wants to have a baby; I just want to have sex.
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My dog and I probably need to seek relationship counseling.
My dog and I probably need to seek relationship counseling. I’m looking for nurturing, playful companionship and he’s preoccupied chasing tail.
