How many times does the world’s oldest man have to die before somebody takes this crisis seriously?!!
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The automakers’ names for their trucks are all very macho-sounding: Titan, Silverado,
The automakers’ names for their trucks are all very macho-sounding: Titan, Silverado, Ram, Tundra, Sierra, etc. That’s why I don’t understand why Chevy wasn’t interested in my concept for the Chevy Smokin’ Skidmark.
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Just remember: If it weren’t for animal testing, we wouldn’t know that animal testing
Just remember: If it weren’t for animal testing, we wouldn’t know that animal testing can be harmful to animals.
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Sometimes, when I’m sure people can only see the back of my head, I enjoy sneaking in a
Sometimes, when I’m sure people can only see the back of my head, I enjoy sneaking in a quick catnap at work. They never last very long, though, because invariably someone rings the bell telling me they want to get off my bus.
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I think they should put one-way aisles in grocery stores.
I think they should put one-way aisles in grocery stores. It would really improve the flow of traffic, although it would no doubt be embarrassing if your friends saw you getting ticketed by the dairy clerk.
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If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 10 years of working in a law firm, it’s that
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 10 years of working in a law firm, it’s that there’s never a good time to say, “Lick me, law-boy!” to the managing partner.
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In an impulse of passion, I said to her, “Give me your lips, right this moment!”
In an impulse of passion, I said to her, “Give me your lips, right this moment!” But when she removed them and threw them to me, it occurred to me that dating Miss Potato Head would require some adjustments.
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My life kind of resembles Forrest Gump’s life, except that I haven’t met any famous
My life kind of resembles Forrest Gump’s life, except that I haven’t met any famous people, struck it rich or had any major accomplishments. I guess all I’m saying is that I, too, once drank so much Dr. Pepper that I had to pee really bad.
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I love the nightlife.
I love the nightlife. I got to boogie. But apparently the minister believes those needs don’t meet his lofty standards for “reasons why this couple should not be wed.”
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We live in a dangerous world, and I guess we all will have to adjust to the idea of
We live in a dangerous world, and I guess we all will have to adjust to the idea of giving up some freedoms and dealing with a heightened level of security. Well, at least according to that Dunkin’ Donuts cashier who strip-searched my wife this morning, we do.
