Note to employees: The statement “Think outside the box” does *not* constitute permission to leave it.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Thomas Wolfe was wrong, you *can* go home again.
Thomas Wolfe was wrong, you *can* go home again. In fact, sometimes it’s strongly encouraged, like when you forget to wear pants to work.
-
It’s a shame that whether or not I had a good Christmas will mostly be determined by
It’s a shame that whether or not I had a good Christmas will mostly be determined by whether the world ends before I receive my credit card bill.
-
All sunglasses, no matter how expensive, pretty much look the same after you sit on them.
All sunglasses, no matter how expensive, pretty much look the same after you sit on them.
-
Nursery rhymes are crucial in aiding young children to make sense of life’s baffling
Nursery rhymes are crucial in aiding young children to make sense of life’s baffling complexities. I mean, who’d want their kid freaking out every time they see a weasel spontaneously combust while fleeing from a mulberry-bush-orbiting monkey?
-
Wouldn’t it be great if pharmacies had people handing out samples like they do at the
Wouldn’t it be great if pharmacies had people handing out samples like they do at the supermarket? I guess the drug companies just aren’t as market-savvy as those pork rind people.
-
Barring a rash of immaculate conceptions, you’ve got to think we’re on our last
Barring a rash of immaculate conceptions, you’ve got to think we’re on our last generation of on-line gamers and role playing geeks.
-
The strange irony is that my mother told me there’d be days like this — including the
The strange irony is that my mother told me there’d be days like this — including the bit about the man in the tinfoil hat groping himself on the subway platform.
-
Eskimo kisses are nice and French kisses are lots of fun, but you might want to think
Eskimo kisses are nice and French kisses are lots of fun, but you might want to think twice before combining them.
-
My new co-workers at the slaughterhouse have been great, patiently showing me the ropes
My new co-workers at the slaughterhouse have been great, patiently showing me the ropes without any of the hazing I’d feared. I will say, though, that I hope the Testicle Fairy visits soon, because my pillow is starting to smell awful.
