If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
My Possessions No Longer Possess Me
My possessions no longer possess me. They sold me to a new owner last week.
-
I Keep Wanting to Go to Oklahoma
I keep wanting to go to Oklahoma, but I’m terrified the evil storm chasers from the movie Twister might still be there.
-
How Can I Help Others?
How can I help others unless I first stop them from helping themselves?
-
Elvis Costello’s Blood & Chocolate
I never had an appreciation for why Elvis Costello would title an album “Blood & Chocolate” until things got out of hand eating that Nestlé 100 Grand bar.
-
Justice Is Blind
It’s good that justice is blind. I just wish she had a better sense of smell.
-
The Weather in New England
It’s true what they say: “If you don’t like the weather in New England, it’s because it freaking sucks. Why do we live here? Ooh, foliage!”
-
If Jesus Were Born Today
If Jesus were born today, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration would require a five-point safety harness in the manger.
-
March Madness Used to Mean Basketball, Not Politics
March Madness used to mean basketball, not politics.
-
Three Legs. To Me, That’s an Exotic Dancer
Three legs. To me, that’s an exotic dancer.
