I got a bunch of digital copies of Mad Magazine, and I’ve gone through 3 iPads and an iPhone so far trying to do the fold-in on the back cover.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Paying for a Lap Dance
I wouldn’t have paid that much for a lap dance if I’d known she was going to do the Chicken Dance.
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I’d Rather Watch a Video of My Conception
I think I’d rather watch a video of my conception than watch another debate.
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My Son Has to Wear a Tuxedo for the School Band’s Holiday Concert
My son said he’s required to wear a tuxedo for the school band’s holiday concert. Now I have to buy him black yoga pants and one of those tuxedo T-shirts.
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The Road to Hell Is Paved
The road to hell is paved. What more do you need to know?
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I’m Not Going to Take This Sitting Down
Honestly, I cannot think of a situation where I’d say, “I’m not going to take this sitting down!” Sitting down is awesome.
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Those Viagra Commercials Don’t Warn You
Those Viagra commercials don’t warn you about the embarrassing effects the drug has on vestigial tails.
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My Amazon Wish List
I added a cello to my Amazon wish list, rich members of my fan club. I also added a home electrolysis system. The cello is cheaper.
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Call Me Hypersensitive
Call me hypersensitive, but I don’t like it when people try to make my cowlick stay down with their spit.
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’Twas the Night Before Christmas
’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring due to the carbon monoxide being given off by the defective space heater.
