Animals Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

OMG Where Did You Learn That

Her: OMG! Where did you learn that?

DOLPHINS ARE THE ONLY ANIMALS OTHER THAN HUMANS THAT ENJOY SEX.

I HAD TO FUCK A LOT OF ANIMALS TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

The other day I went to a paraplegic strip club.

The place was crawling with pussy.

Kids today have it too easy, all they have to do is click to watch a midget fuck a goat. We had to buy a goat and capture a midget.

Why don’t blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

On Easter morning, a rooster wakes up and notices brightly colored eggs scattered all around the chicken coop and yard.

He looks at the hens nesting, thinks for a minute, then runs across the barnyard and beats the shit out of the peacock.

I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me, “How do you know it was on its way to work?”

A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

The bartender says, “Interesting pet. What’s his name?”

“Tiny,” the guy says.

“Why Tiny?” the bartender asks.

“Because he’s my newt.”