Topic: animals
Animal jokes, pet memes, wildlife weirdness, and creature-based chaos for anyone who suspects nature has been trolling us this whole time.
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I had to put my foot down
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo…
I had to put my foot down. -
The Human Anus Can Stretch Up to 7 Inches – You Can Take Almost Two Full Raccoons Up Your Ass
☀MissMorningstar☀ @KeeperOfDankniz
The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.
10:27 PM · 10 Oct 19 · Twitter for Android
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Why Is There a Coyote on the Bus? They Can’t Fucking Drive Karen
karen @vibeaholic
why is there a coyote on the bus?
Jonathan @LowkeyNerdy
probably because they can’t fucking drive karen
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Got Her an Identical Dog to Cheer Her Up – What Am I Supposed to Do With 2 Dead Dogs?
My girlfriend’s dog died
I get her an identical one to help cheer her up
Her: What TF am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs?
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Dog: Drop the Ball – Dog: Go Fuck Yourself
Dog: You are my life. My purpose. I will do anything for you
Human: Drop the ball
Dog: Go fuck yourself
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Shark vs Me in a Triathlon – It Would All Come Down to Who Is the Better Cyclist
Emma Manzini @EmmaManzini
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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The Deer
I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me…
“How do you know it was on its way to work?”
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When Going Fishing Take an Action Figure With You – It Will Make Your Catch Look Amazing
When going fishing, take an Action Figure with you…. it will make your catch look amazing!!!
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I Just Found Out That Cock Fighting Is Done With Chickens – 2 Years of Training I’ll Never Get Back
John @JFD1960
I just found out that cock fighting is done with chickens. That’s 2 years of training I’ll never get back
