WE SHALL CALL HIM HONKEY KONG
Topic: animals
Animal jokes, pet memes, wildlife weirdness, and creature-based chaos for anyone who suspects nature has been trolling us this whole time.
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Moo-spaper
How do cows stay up to date?
They read the moo-spaper.
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The Centipede’s Errand
An ant, a spider, and a centipede are holding a party.
The ant realizes that they are running low on beer. He offers to head out to buy some more. The centipede says, “No, let me do it. You’d take too long. I have a lot more legs than you — I can do it faster!” The bugs agree.
Ten minutes pass… then twenty minutes, then thirty, then more. The spider asks, “What’s taking him so long?” The ant decides to head out to investigate. He opens the front door and sees the centipede outside.
The ant asks, “Hey man, what’s taking you so long?”
The centipede replies, “I’m still putting on my shoes.”
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Cockatoo
Do you happen to own a parrot?
‘Cause you look like you could handle a cockatoo.
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Elephant Wisdom
Why are elephants so wise?
It comes with getting long in the tooth.
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Gordon Ramsay Dwarf Lookalike Eaten by Badger
rachel @raalaa_
Roses are red, Sugar is used to sweeten
Gordon Ramsay’s dwarf porn star look alike found dead in badger den half eaten
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My frog impression
I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me before he croaked.
He said, “Hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?” -
Tigers and Meth I’m In
Joe: Wanna marry me?
Me: Nah, im straight
Joe: I got tigers and meth
Me: You son of a bitch, I’m in!
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Illegal to Own a Christian
PATHEOS.COM
Study finds atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians
Robert Noble: This article is stupid. Besides not knowing how to feed and care for them, it’s illegal to own a Christian, let alone buy and sell them.
