Topic: animals
Animal jokes, pet memes, wildlife weirdness, and creature-based chaos for anyone who suspects nature has been trolling us this whole time.
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Turpentine: A Horse’s Diarrhea Cure?
A young farmer is having trouble with one of his horses, which is suffering from diarrhea. He doesn’t know what to do, so he seeks advice from the old farmer down the road.
“Farmer John, surely you’ve seen this problem before. What should I do with a horse with diarrhea?” he asks.
Farmer John smiles and says, “Well, a few years back one of my horses had that problem, and I gave him a drink of turpentine.”
Relieved to have an answer, the young farmer runs home and administers the same treatment to his horse.
Sadly, the next morning his horse is dead. He runs back over to Farmer John’s place.
“John, I gave my horse turpentine, but he died!” the young farmer says.
Farmer John nods thoughtfully and says, “Aye… mine did too.”
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Polar Bear Identity Crisis!
One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his polar bear son were sitting in the snow. The cub turned to his father and said: “Dad, am I 100 percent polar bear?”
“Of course, son” replied the father. “you are 100 percent polar bear”
A few minutes later the cub turned to his father again and said: “Dad, tell me the truth, I can take it. Am I 100 percent polar bear? No brown bear or black bear or grizzly bear?”
The father put a loving paw on the son’s head. “Son,” he said “I am 100 percent polar bear, your mother is 100 percent polar bear, so you are definitely 100 percent polar bear.”
The cub seemed satisfied, but a few minutes later he turned to his father and once more said: “Look, Dad, I don’t want you saying this just to spare my feelings. I have to know: am I 100 percent polar bear?”
By now the father is becoming distressed by the continual questioning and said: “Why do you keep asking if you are 100 percent polar bear?”
The cub replied: “Because I’m freezing!!!”
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Sharks and Clowns: A Tasty Mystery!
You know why sharks don’t eat clowns?
They taste funny. -
Two hunters
Two hunters were out in the woods when one of them suddenly collapsed.
The other grabbed his phone, called emergency services, and yelled, “Help! We were out hunting, and I think my buddy’s dead! What do I do?!”
The operator said calmly, “All right, sir. First, make sure he’s dead.”
There was a pause… then two gunshots.
The hunter came back on the line and said, “Okay — now what?”
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Locating Legless Horses: A Clever Joke
Where can you find a horse with no legs?
Wherever you left it. -
Seagulls or Bagels? A Silly Dilemma!
Why won’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels.
