
The true Tiger King
Identity theft is not a joke, John
Daily life jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.


DID YOU KNOW THAT THE FIRST FRENCH FRY WASN'T COOKED IN FRANCE?
WHERE WAS IT COOKED, THEN?
IN GREECE


I MISS THE OLD BLINK-182
I’m Joe.
The hell you’re Joe. I’m Joe.
either way, you and I end up deeply in love and raising cats


Maybe if you knew Garfield's parents were murdered on a monday by anti lasagna activists you wouldn't be so judgmental.


[Home Depot staff meeting]
BOSS: Someone has been breaking all the wood. Any idea who it is?
ME: [tightening my green karate belt] Probably someone pretty strong.


the boss hands me a gun, “you know what to do.”
I nod.
outside, I frantically google:
boss gun why
how to kill
is killing ok
regift gun ok


There's no way you can get blackout drunk every night, and still be happy with your life.
Me:
Well, first of all, through God, all things are possible, so jot that down.


as a cashier in a pharmacy i don't want people to feel uncomfortable when they buy personal products, so while they're paying i loudly ask them "Oh is this hemorrhoid cream for your Friend?" and wink at them so they know to follow my lead