Daily Life Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Shower Stomach Hurtin

when u was alrdy in the shower but yo stomach hurtin

Have you seen that potato peeler thing?

She left you two days ago.

i’m Sorry, little one…but I’m hungry

The Devourer of Mankind

I need to get out of this bed or I’m going to be late for the couch

Dear Lord. If you could just look away for 2 minutes.

When I’m home alone with my penis

My hand right after I wake up in the morning:

On my way woody!

Just remember that somewhere out there, a girl without arms… is trying to make her bed.

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me.

Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.

I’m dismayed.