Me: omg I’m so tired from all that crossfit this morning
Friend: it’s pronounced croissant… and I’m not sure how you managed to eat 12
Topic: food
Food jokes, snack memes, kitchen crimes, restaurant disasters, and edible nonsense for people who laugh first and check expiration dates later.
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Kids Eat Free
Waiter: ‘I just wanted to let you know that kids eat for free.’
Me: ‘Good. I’ll have a water and my daughter will have the steak and a kids Bud Light.’
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Jew In Oven
Carryout Orders:
76 LINDSEY – Now – Ready
78 MARTIN SCHMIDT – Now – Ready
79 LYNN MURRAY – Now – Ready
81 JEW – 4 minutes – In Oven
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Top 16 Penis Dishes (R-rated version)
The Top 16 Penis Dishes (R-rated version)
16. Weenieschnitzel
15. Ding-Dongs
14. Buffalo Wangs
13. Chicken Marphallus
12. Shish-ka-bobbitt
11. Mansmeat Pie
10. Wangers and Mash
9. Standing Ribbed Roast (for her pleasure)
8. Beef Swellington
7. Rocky Mountain Sausage
6. Beans ‘n’ Frank’s Frank
5. Veal Scallopeepee
4. Host-less Twinkie
3. Spotted Dick (a vas diferens from the traditional British version)
2. Rootie Tootie Fresh-Cut Woody
1. Tool House Cookies
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ] -
Dont Complain About My Cooking
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his homosexuality from his parents, goes over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he lets out a big sigh and says, “Mom, I have something to tell you: I’m gay.”
His mother made no reply, and the guy was about to repeat it, when she turned to him and said calmly, “You’re gay? Doesn’t that mean you put other men’s penises in your mouth?”
Nervously, the guy said, “Uh, yeah, Mom, well I guess so.”
His mother went back to stirring the pot. Suddenly, she whirled around and whacked him over the head with her spoon, saying, “Don’t you EVER complain about my cooking again!!!!!”
