Topic: movies

Have you seen the movie about the fish that works at the cardboard company?

Unfortunately, it flopped at the box office.

You really can learn things in Lamaze classes. I learned that just because a video has a naked lady in it doesn’t mean that my “bawm-chick-a-bamp bamp” song is going to automatically get a laugh out of the room.

The second rule of Fight Club is: Don’t whistle songs from “The Sound of Music.”

If I had a time machine, I would use it for the benefit of others more needy than myself — like standing outside a movie theater until I heard someone say, “*There’s* two hours of my life I’ll never get back!” and I’d interject, “Well, have I got a deal for you!”

When I went to leave my house today, there were so many birds outside that it was really scary, like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. I can’t think of which one, though.

That guy who made the movie “300” got a lot of flack for the way the enemy army was portrayed. Oh, c’mon — it’s not like he chose monstrous-looking actors just to cast aspersians.

Everyone was pretty stoked when we announced we were getting the band back together, but the next task was figuring out who had a garage big enough for the 74 of us to march in.

I’m thinking PBS would come out WAY ahead if they let me play the music and let James Taylor and Carole King make the donations.

I like Katy Perry. I’m probably not going to buy her album, but if she did a commercial for the Shake-Weight, I’d watch it.

Dear Hollywood: We get it. The name Focker sounds like the word “f%#ker.” It was even funny the first two times in the first movie.