Topic: movies

I hate music producers. Auto-Tuning a good vocalist is like Photoshopping the freckles off a redhead’s breasts.

I awoke and saw a host of winged angels before me. At first I was afraid and thought, “Is this is the end?” But I wanted to go with them, for they were truly beautiful to behold. And then I realized I’d fallen asleep with the TV on and had woken up during a Victoria’s Secret commercial.

In my opinion, that “severe weather expert” on TV actually seems pretty laid back.

I’m not sure if it’s my singing voice, choice of music, or what, but my new “Singing Mammogram” business hasn’t been nearly as successful as I had hoped.

Probability that Van Morrison titled the song “Brown Eyed Girl” because he couldn’t remember her name: 67%.

“Imagine there’s no Heather. It’s easy if you try.” Those are fun breakup song lyrics for .17% of the population, according to census data.

I wish I’d penned a song titled, “I Write The Songs That Make the Whole World Want to Stick Scissors in Their Ears and Come After the Singer With Torches and Pitchforks,” because I’m pretty sure that Wikipedia would make a page entry about that guy.

I could walk away from an explosion if I knew it was toward a movie camera because I know I could always buy a ticket to see the explosion.

There is so much buzz from older ladies about this “50 Shades of Grey” movie. I can’t wait to take my nana to see it for her birthday.

If a Method Actor is starring in a film about a Method Actor, does he get caught in a time paradox?