“Hope you don’t mind… I’m out of Viagra, so I used duct tape.”
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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He’s Not Even A Member Of This Club.
Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball, suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his privates. ‘He’s not my husband,’ she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down as he’s passing. ‘He’s not my husband either.’
She says, also not recognizing the unit. He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. ‘Wait a minute,’ she says. ‘He’s not even a member of this club.’
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The Man Who Couldn’t Find Her Head
Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, “you know, we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. why don’t we split up today. I’ll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we’ll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire.”
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
That Big Ape Hasn’t Called
Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the huge male gorilla had a massive erection. This fascinated the gay men so much they couldn’t take their eyes off of it.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
My Real Life
I would be completely happy to just live in my dreams, if it weren’t for my girlfriend repeatedly changing into Hitler. No, wait a minute — that’s my real life.
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When Women Make Gay Men Question Everything
Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She’s 5’10”, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!
The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, “It’s women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a Lesbian!”
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Wetting My Fingers to Turn the Pages
There was this couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on and read a book. As he was reading he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling with her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, “What are you doing taking all your gear off?”
The wife replied, “You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier.”
The husband said, “No, not at all.”
The wife then asked, “Well, what were you doing then?”
“Oh,” he said, “I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book!”
