My girlfriend is ridiculously sexy. In fact, she brought the sexy back so far, I had to buy a DeLorean just to sleep with her.
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I
When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I was going to fuck a hot chick from Rio. Either way, now I can’t fucking walk.
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I don’t know what I’m going to miss the most about my girlfriend
I don’t know what I’m going to miss the most about my girlfriend now that we’re ending our relationship, but I’ve narrowed it down to one of three things: her tits, her tits, or her tits.
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My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the
My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the Halloween party we’re attending. Awesome! When we get back home, tonight’s rectal thermometer session will be that much more authentic.
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They say it isn’t the size of the boat, but the motion of the
They say it isn’t the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. While there’s some truth to that, you can’t make too many waves if you’re only piloting a dinghy.
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It’s all fun and games till my boyfriend cums on my tits and
It’s all fun and games till my boyfriend cums on my tits and another girl licks it off. Then it’s… Whoa, weird — it’s still fun and games. Win!
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I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those
I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.
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Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me
Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me masturbate, after he thanks me I like to say, “Happy to lend a helping finger!”
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(Jilly G.) The best thing about a threesome is that if you do
(Jilly G.) The best thing about a threesome is that if you do something TRULY spectacular, you’ll have two witnesses there to corroborate your story.
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True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
