When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley riding jacket. When she said she liked watersports, I naively showed up with my snorkel. So today when she told me she had some shit to do around the house, I decided to stay away altogether, just in case.
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous
Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous girlfriend asked me to organize a gangbang for her; now how the hell do I get all these Crips and Bloods out of my apartment?
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Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and
Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
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I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me
I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me saying, “Not to be taken orally.”
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If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
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The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
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Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had
Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had lots in common, but what really sealed the deal was her “Deliveries in the Rear” tramp stamp.
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The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to
The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to cum in less than 60 seconds every damn time.
