Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs” had something to do with their size — until I heard the rumbling noises that often emanate from near the tops of them.
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey
My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey Mouse bobblehead. I maintain that with all that alcohol in my system, it looked exactly like a butt plug.
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My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama
My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama Sutra, and had no problems with The Butterfly, The Bridge, The Plow, The Rowing Boat and The Suspended Scissors. However, we’ve been stuck for more than a week on The Chinese Sex Trap.
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It takes a lot of effort to inflate a new love doll, but it’s
It takes a lot of effort to inflate a new love doll, but it’s worth it. The look of wide-eyed, open-mouthed excitement when you introduce your two ladies to each other pretty much guarantees you a three-way sandwich.
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I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just
I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just saying her neighbor should know that helicopters can’t land on the roof because there’s no room up there.
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When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley
When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley riding jacket. When she said she liked watersports, I naively showed up with my snorkel. So today when she told me she had some shit to do around the house, I decided to stay away altogether, just in case.
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Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous
Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous girlfriend asked me to organize a gangbang for her; now how the hell do I get all these Crips and Bloods out of my apartment?
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Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and
Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
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I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me
I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me saying, “Not to be taken orally.”
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If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
