The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a pocketed banana, why the hell should I be happy?
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I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they
I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they fuck. That’s like making Little League baseball players watch the World Series of Fucking during every game.
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Word to the wise: No matter how good the sex was, never
Word to the wise: No matter how good the sex was, never high-five your dick.
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You can tell you’ve reached a severe life turning point when
You can tell you’ve reached a severe life turning point when your cock cravings no longer take you to singles bars, but to KFC.
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She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for
She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for her Bada-bung next time.
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I took all the money I saved not buying Valentine’s Day presents
I took all the money I saved not buying Valentine’s Day presents over the years and bought masturbation toys. Now I own a solid gold fuck stick.
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Yoga mats aren’t designed to accommodate a guy’s balls. Remove
Yoga mats aren’t designed to accommodate a guy’s balls. Remove them and give them to the woman who brought you there for safe keeping.
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My application to join the Astronaut Wives Club was rejected.
My application to join the Astronaut Wives Club was rejected. It’s all fucking politics.
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My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I
My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I stuck a ball gag in her mouth and thoroughly spanked her ass. Turns out she just wanted a hot young rich guy.
