Nothing says “love” like not being asked to explain why there’s a “My Pretty Pony” hoof-deep in your vajayay.
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
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Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had
Yes she was pretty and classy with a quick wit, and sure we had lots in common, but what really sealed the deal was her “Deliveries in the Rear” tramp stamp.
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The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to
The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to cum in less than 60 seconds every damn time.
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The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates
The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.
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If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a pocketed banana, why the hell should I be happy?
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I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they
I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they fuck. That’s like making Little League baseball players watch the World Series of Fucking during every game.
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Word to the wise: No matter how good the sex was, never
Word to the wise: No matter how good the sex was, never high-five your dick.
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You can tell you’ve reached a severe life turning point when
You can tell you’ve reached a severe life turning point when your cock cravings no longer take you to singles bars, but to KFC.
