Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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Well, that didn’t work
My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…
I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.
She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.
After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”
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Pirates, Prison, and a Booty Call!
In 2010, a group of pirates buried their treasure and, earlier this year, tried to recover it. They tried everything—bloodhounds, radar, metal detectors, sonar—but they couldn’t find their treasure.
One day, one of the pirates had a suggestion.
“Captain, we should break R. Kelly out of prison.”
The captain said, “This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, but go ahead. Why?”
“Captain, if anybody can find 15-year-old booty, it’s this guy!”
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She gave me a big hug
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She turned around and gave me a big hug. -
It was a good trade
I got a refrigerator for my wife today.
It was a good trade. -
Farting in the Fast Lane!
A woman walks into a car dealership to browse around, not really planning to buy anything. In the showroom, she sees a beautiful convertible with a leather interior. She reaches down to touch the seat and accidentally lets a fart go.
To her terror, she looks up and sees a salesman heading her way. Hoping he didn’t hear her, she plays it cool and says, “Excuse me, how much is this car? I’m thinking of purchasing it for my husband.”
The salesman says, “Lady, if you farted from touching the leather, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”
