Topic: relationships

Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.

  • I Cant Do That

    Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup. As he is being looked over, the doctor asks about his stuttering. After considerable effort, he was able to tell the doctor that it started shortly after reaching puberty. The doctor asks him to drop his pants and underwear, at which point he sees the patient has an exceptionally large member. The doctor picks it up and asks the man if he feels any better. The patient clearly replies with no stutter that he feels great. The doctor tells him the weight is putting stress on his diaphragm, making it hard to move air in and out of his lungs, causing the stutter. The doctor says he can correct the problem but will have to replace his manhood with a smaller but still functional penis. The guy agrees to have it done because he is tired of the looks and insults he gets from strangers.

    A couple days later he storms into the doctor’s office and, with perfect diction, asks the doctor to give back his old penis or his girlfriend will leave him.

    The doctor replies, “I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-so sorry. I-I-I c-c-ca-can-can’t do that.”

  • Cracks Started to Appear

    My wife denied she was a lesbian but it wasn’t long before cracks started to appear in our marriage.

  • When My Wife Comes Home From Work

    A bartender brings a guy a drink and says, “Hey buddy, you look a little down. What’s wrong?”
    The guy says, “Well, when my wife left, I felt a little sad in the beginning. Then I got a dog, bought a Harley, and asked out the pretty neighbor next door. Things were definitely looking better.”

    “Sounds pretty great,” says the bartender.

    And the guy says, “Yeah… but now I’m thinking about what’s gonna happen when my wife comes home from work.”

  • A MILF Shake

    What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?

    A MILF shake.